u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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