I think my vagina is haunted
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me