My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to