Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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