i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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