Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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