I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
