Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Randomize
