you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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