Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
