Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
