No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
