WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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