I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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