no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
