woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
