i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
