i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
