I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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