he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
