Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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