she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
