I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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