I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
