the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
