That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
