Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
