this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
