We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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