fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
