forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
