she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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