Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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