this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
