summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
