I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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