I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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