told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
