I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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