like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
