Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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