You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
even my farts smell like vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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