moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
