So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
