I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
