You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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