She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
