So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
