Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
