Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
