whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
