Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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