Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
