Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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