I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
