I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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