atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
