I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize