i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
