Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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