Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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