hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I deserve this hangover.
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