No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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